I fucking hate you, you know who you are. You drive around in lifted trucks regardless of the fact that you've never taken that shit off road ever, not even once.
You make sure everyone knows you're there by blasting your poorly calibrated sound system with the latest bullshit mass media music you can find.
Every other word out of your mouth is "Bro".
I was at Albertsons minding my own business when I overheard the following conversation between two bro's which happened upon each other in the wild.
"Yo Bro, I was out this weekend on the dunes driving my Ford, man I was just driving so hard! oh man I was driving in my Ford bro! I saw a guy in a Nissan! If I was in a Nissan I would be like dooo driving in a Nissan ooh oooh man what a fag!"
I think the conversation went on but thinking quickly I jammed some individually packaged cheese slices into my ears to keep what was left of my brain from dribbling out onto the ground.
You see, like any other dumb animal when one Bro happens upon another in the wild they have to establish their dominance because the sight of another Bro that isn't in their pod (Pods, that's what a group of Bro's is called) it's automatically assumed to be a challenge.
The one with the bigger queerer looking perfectly angled hat, barbed wire or tribal tat and the hottest bleached blond bro'hoe on the arm wins and the loser is emasculated.
I don't make this shit up. I am convinced that Bro's are not really physical beings but more like physical manifestations of where the quantum stupid spectrum of light intersects with this universe and hit an otherwise standard redneck.
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